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Far Far Away
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Today at school i was getting mega stressed with my BTEC work it was all over the table and it needed to put into a folder neatly in order (as the btec markers are coming next wednesday), people were talking to me asking me to help them with their work i couldnt concentrate loads of different voices were going through my head. I just neatly put my work into the folder and left the classroom just after the bell went for lunch.
I walked down to my english classroom and put my head on the table to try and calm down, i got on with my english coursework.
Tears started to roll down my face. I get stressed over the smallest things, like the other day i ended up crying as i couldnt get some papers straight for stapeling, today cus my btec work couldnt be sorted out and one girl was messing with the papers i had already sorted out.
I felt like running away, far far away, just running somewhere so no one could find me, i really wanted to find a blade and run it across my wrists, but i couldnt find one.
I have exams coming up and i will be leaving school soon and i dont know how i will cope.
Plus the last week of march is going to be very stressful 22nd is my shakespeare performance for drama, 23rd it would be my great aunts 79th birthday (she died last year), 25th i have a doctors appointment (hopefully i might have the guts to tell them about my self harm), 26th is my best mates birthday but i will be at school all day rehearsing for a performance later on that day for the community (not the same play as the 22nd).
I feel really stressed and dont think i can cope anymore i have loads (over 10) exams in May/June its all to much. :'( i just want to run far far away
Comments
Posted by Charlie on 01:27 - 19 Mar 2011
Sounds like a tough time at the minute. You will get there though. Try not to get too stressed - try to plan your time well and make sure you have at least 20minutes just to relax or take time out of your busy schedule for yourself. Hopefully this will help you to destress.
I know what you mean with coursework and exams. I am in sixth form college, in my last year - going to uni in Sept/Oct this year and the pressure is really on now to get the right grades (I’m a bit of a perfectionsist!!) I found it really useful to make a timetable so I know what I am supposed to be doing when and this way I am able to keep on top of college work and still have time away from college to have a social life too - this is key to taking the pressure off.
You can do it. Keep going and keep writing - it does help! Good luck, take care and probably speak to you soon xx
Posted by JM on 12:45 - 20 Mar 2011
Thank you for your comment. Planning my time and making a timetable sounds like a good idea, the pressure of getting the results i want is making me nervous as i feel like i am failing my subjects. I think making a time table will give me time to relax/calm down aswell. Thank you X X X X
Posted by Mina on 11:58 - 24 Mar 2011
How did the preformance go?
Just out of curiosity which Shakespare play was it?
The timetable sounds like a good idea and clearify some boundries is always good, like telling the people close to you that no you cannot in fact help them, because you’re swamped.
Hope your exams will be okay.
Posted by JM on 10:28 - 24 Mar 2011
The play i was in was the tempest and also mcbeth. It went ok didnt do very well as many people in my group forgot their lines, we only performed it infront of a couple of teachers and a camera so it can go into our btec folders. The teacher said that she will give me the grade that i had the last time we performed it a merit :-D but i know i can do better
Posted by JM on 04:05 - 22 Apr 2011
Just to let you know the play on 26-03-2011 was a community play and i was the only one out of 20 people who knew all their lines off by heart and didnt take their script on stage, my teacher said she thinks i will get a distinction for that performance :-), thank you for all your advice and comments they help a lot, i have since made a revision timetable for the easter holidays which also allows me to take time out of revising to do some exercise xx thank you