Far Far Away
Today at school i was getting mega stressed with my BTEC work it was all over the table and it needed to put into a folder neatly in order (as the btec markers are coming next wednesday), people were talking to me asking me to help them with their work i couldnt concentrate loads of different voices were going through my head. I just neatly put my work into the folder and left the classroom just after the bell went for lunch.
I walked down to my english classroom and put my head on the table to try and calm down, i got on with my english coursework.
Tears started to roll down my face. I get stressed over the smallest things, like the other day i ended up crying as i couldnt get some papers straight for stapeling, today cus my btec work couldnt be sorted out and one girl was messing with the papers i had already sorted out.
I felt like running away, far far away, just running somewhere so no one could find me, i really wanted to find a blade and run it across my wrists, but i couldnt find one.
I have exams coming up and i will be leaving school soon and i dont know how i will cope.
Plus the last week of march is going to be very stressful 22nd is my shakespeare performance for drama, 23rd it would be my great aunts 79th birthday (she died last year), 25th i have a doctors appointment (hopefully i might have the guts to tell them about my self harm), 26th is my best mates birthday but i will be at school all day rehearsing for a performance later on that day for the community (not the same play as the 22nd).
I feel really stressed and dont think i can cope anymore i have loads (over 10) exams in May/June its all to much. :'( i just want to run far far away