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I have been self harming for over a year now. A few months ago everybody found out, although I was terrified, my friends were amazing, and really looked after me. But lately I have been very depressed, and I get completely obssesed with people and recently, my obsession with my Drama teacher is at the worst it has ever been. I think about her constantly, I dream about her, I go down certain corridoors at school at certain times just so I can see her. We have a close relationship and she has been one of the best people to understand my self harm. But yesterday, she stormed out of our rehearsal because she said that nobody cared and there arn't words to describe how upset I was. Im not good at a lot of things but Drama is the one thing that I am good at and I adore it and I put so much effort into every aspect of it, so when she said this, I didnt know what to do. She was cross at me. And I couldnt stand it. I had a bad day anyway, my other A-Levels are really hard and my Dad has a big drinking problem so I had that one my mind too. It was raining when I came out of school, I walked for a couple of minutes, but then I was so depressed and upset I fell onto the ground and cried. I got a blade out of my bag and cut very deep. I sat on the ground and I didnt know what to do. I cant remember it properly or how long I sat their for but I rang my friends and they came. But there normal reaction didnt come. They were cross at me and said I was being stupid. I had to go A&E, and when I got back, they text me saying how disapointed they were in me for cutting, and how they never wanted to find me in such a ridiculous state again. They said the look on my mums face should be enough to make me stop and how my stupid obsessions were getting out of hand. I felt so upset, they dont get how I do want to stop but its so hard because I need it and how I cant help the obsessions and that I wish more than anything they would go. Does this mean they dont like me anymore, I dont know what to do.