Should I tell HIM?
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Question
I asked the boy I really like,out on friday and he said he will be my boyfriend :) however I dont know what to do, I never eat in school and at home I make myself sick and I dont know wether or not to tell him, im scared of what his reaction will be; would he make me go to my doctor, will he dump me, will he tell my parents, will he tell our friends?
I also used to self harm - I havent told him about this however he might see the marks on my arms at prom at the end of the month. Should I tell him or not?
He might find out about my eating disorder if we go out for a meal or if I go to his for dinna etc, or even at prom when everyone else will be eatin and I wouldnt. :(
I dont know what to do, I dont want to push him away.
Posted by Donna on 02:20 - 16 Jun 2011
Glad to hear he said yes :) are you guys still going out? You may well have had a conversation with him since writing this, and if so I hope you feel good about how that went. It is always a difficult situation to be in, and different for everyone so no right answer I’m afraid. The key thing is building up trust with a person first. And if he is noticing something in your behaviour it might actually sound better coming from you explaining it than him being confused & coming to his own conclusions. Then you can reassure him with what support you would like from him as well. People don’t always react how we would like them to, so I can understand why you feel unsure, but only you can judge when you are ready for that conversation. If he wants you to talk to parents or a doctor, then that could be really annoying for you, but it may be his way of showing that he cares. A compromise for that could be agreeing to talk to someone else yourself, rather than him taking control.
Whoever you decide to confide in, I wish you all the best with that. It is a brave step, but one that helps us not to feel so alone. Take care, Donna
Posted by JM on 10:59 - 17 Jun 2011
Thanks for the advice, we are still going out :D and I havent told him yet, im just gonna wait for the right time to tell him. I think I might tell him about my self harm in the next two weeks as we have prom and I think I should tell him as I think the marks are noticeable, I will see his reaction to this and then base wether or not to tell him about my ed on how he reacts to my s/h. The ed is less obvious I have hid it from my parents for years so im not sure if he will figure it out, I will just see if there is a right moment in the future. Thanks again for the advice it has really helped me think it through and think about how much he will care:) JM x