There is so much I could write about right now. My head is flooded with so many thoughts and emotions, however, putting them all into words is nearly impossible. I have only been self-harming for a short while, however, I have been dealing with urges for a long time. Gradually, things have worsened, emotions have become so overwhelming that it leaves me feeling numb as I just don't know what to feel. The main reason that I would quickly dismiss the urges would be that people would eventually find out, judge me, hate me, not understand etc. But one night, the urge was so strong I couldn't ignore it or put it to the back of my mind.No matter what I did, the urge was there constantly consuming my every thought. So I did it.Finally.I gave into the urges which were only going to grow stronger. And you know what... the release felt so good. All this build up tension suddenly released. This feeling was short-lived and then before I knew it I got caught up in the vicious cycle which now feels impossible to escape. Every single day, I have little to no energy, my mind is in such a negative place, I have low-self esteem, I feel hopeless, worthless and I know I need help. I am seeing a counselor in school. It isn't having an impact yet and I doubt it ever will but it makes my family feel better if they know I am getting support. Anyways, the whole point in this blog is to maybe get some advice on what to do because I have been considering seeing a doctor but scared that they will just put it down to teenage moods or whatever. I just don't know what to do, my family and school are aware of what I am doing but for some reason, I don't feel any better.