We can’t be there in person to help and support you in a moment of crisis, but there are other options available to you if you can’t turn to someone you trust. By giving us your postcode (or one nearby to where you are right now) we can let you know about services in your area. Remember: this moment will pass; you won’t always feel the way you do right now.
If in doubt always call 999.
What’s the World record for the number of people to fit into a Mini? (go on – find out, we know you’ll want to!)
We all try and cram ourselves into small spaces at some point in life, for some reason! Hide and seek? A tent that is way too small? Under our bed? A phone box when it’s raining?
In the same way that we try to cram ourselves into a place too small; we also try and cram our emotions into a space far too small...
This time of year for many is stressful. You might be:
1. Changing schools...
2. Doing your exams...
3. Worried about leaving School...
4. Getting your results...
5. Or concerned about a long summer break...
Some things that will happen we can’t do anything about – such as the long summer break – but what we can do to reduce our stress is to begin to plan. For many of us planning reduces the worries about something as it helps us to take control and make choices about how we want to manage an upcoming event that is troubling us.
Think about results day: what do you want to do? Would you rather just get up early and click online to get your results in the privacy of your own house, away from your friends?
Think about the long summer break: how about volunteering somewhere? How about starting a card making service? How about babysitting? How about offering a dog walking service?
Take some time to consider what stresses are filling your bucket: What can you do to manage that stress?
You might not know that SelfharmUK is actually part of a wider Christian organisation called Youthscape. We don’t know what you know about Christians, other than Ned Flanders:
...but we try to be non- judgmental, kind, funny and we struggle too with our own mental health at times.
You see- being a Christian, a Muslim, a Sikh or an atheist doesn’t stop us feeling low at times. Sadly, having a faith or no faith, doesn't stop bad things from happening to us or to those we love. However, often, having a faith – whichever faith you choose or choosing none – may enable you to find some peace.
In this clip from an episode of BBC Songs of Praise focusing on World Mental Health Day, the Rev. Richard Coles talks very openly about the struggles he faced as a teenager.
Last year a young person who had suffered greatly with their mental health, wrote a moving article about how they had found faith and friends in Buddhism. For many people of faith, following their faith also means linking with a community of kind, loving people who are also journeying through the highs and lows of life.
Whether you follow faith or not; know this – you aren’t alone. Whether that’s knowing your God walks with you, or by talking to those around you who care for you, including with us here at SelfharmUK.
If you'd like to read more blogs about faith and mental health, check out Oliver’s blog about how they found healing in faith.
This blog post was written by Jo Fitzsimmons, a member of the SelfharmUK Team. In case you were wondering, the dogs below are called Floyd and Zeus!
We all love some cat and dog youtube clips, don’t we??!
Some of us love our pets, some of us aren’t too keen on animals, but either way the evidence is strong….Animals calm us down.
People who stroke their cats and dogs are reported to have much lower stress levels and longer life expectancy than those who don’t. Why?
If you aren’t able to keep a pet of your own – perhaps volunteer in an animal shelter or look at something like ‘borrowmydoggy’ ?
Some people like this lead up to Christmas, some (like me and my family!), really don’t!
The Christmas decorations look pretty and the shops get busier and the Christmas feeling is in the air – but it doesn’t make me get the warm Christmas glow; in fact it begins to make me stressed right from the moment it starts…
The pressure for the perfect film like Christmas family gathering is unachievable – the perfect family game time; the perfect present wrapping, the perfect friends to go out with, the perfect family to share it will – perfection doesn’t exist, in any place at any time.
The media Christmas portrayal adds to our sense of dread – the pressure to smile, laugh, not row, not feel sad – can make us feel very detached from Christmas: so this year, in the lead up here are some tips:
1. Ignore TV films and adverts! We aren’t going to reach a Hollywood Christmas ideal – so let’s not bother. Watch Elf and comedies – they keep a good perspective on it!
2. Try to imagine Christmas day now – what works for you? Do you need to communicate any of that to your family – who don’t you want to see over Christmas? How long do you have to visit relatives for? Begin to start the conversations now so they don’t come as a shock to your family – take control and be prepared to compromise.
3. Make stuff – loads and loads of stuff! Don’t buy it, make it. Keep your hands and mind busy, the personal stuff doesn’t need to cost much nor does it have to be perfect – enjoy the process and the result.
4. Don’t give yourself sky high expectations of yourself over Christmas. If you need to take regular breaks from family, do it. Look after yourself now so that you have the energy for it as it gets closer; plan out the Christmas holidays so that you get a good balance of rest and play.
The SelfharmUK Team
Today is World Mental Health Day
In order to be fully human we have physical wellbeing and mental and emotional wellbeing.
In the same way you sometimes get a cold, hurt your wrist or break a leg: we all get emotionally unwell at some point.
Physically we can see when someone isn’t well – from their pale looking skin, to a arm cast to a wheelchair – it’s obvious when someone needs additional support due to their physical illness. Often it might only be a day or two off school, sometimes it needs hospital treatment – it’s a sliding scale of needing extra physical care.
Mental care is the same – it’s a huge scale. From having a ‘bad day’ to sleeplessness to depression – the scale is huge and, sadly, at some point, we might find ourselves needing some additional support, but, because it’s unseen we can be tempted not to ask for it.
Hiding our feelings can make us feel worse. Feeling low can easily move into depression and anxiety issues.
Anxiety isn’t just the feeling of ‘being a bit worried’, it’s an overwhelming sense of dread or fear that stops you from enjoying life and may limit where you go because you come so anxious you can’t control it.
Panic attacks are the body’s way of holding up a ‘red card’, of saying ‘STOP’.
If you ever experience any of these things then you are most probably struggling with your anxiety, and because it’s hidden inside of you, others may not be aware of it. It may not happen every day, but possibly about the same thing each time or in the same situation:
When these feelings come into our body, it can be hard to take control. Don’t filter your feelings:
Once the feeling has subsided:
Long term anxiety needs specialised help. If you are finding yourself having panic attacks often, not sleeping, struggling with food issues: you may need to think about getting specialised help before things get worse. There are some great people out there who can help, we suggest you visit anxiety.org.uk for more info.
The SelfharmUK Team
Welcome to our brand-new website! We are so excited to be sharing with you all the weeks and months of work we have been doing to try and get this right. The first thing that you may notice is that we now have three very specific areas for the main people that visit our site. This is so you can feel totally at home sharing any stories or questions you have, knowing that parents and professionals won’t see it. Please be aware if we are really worried about you we may need to pass this information on.
To post content and to see what other people have posted you must be logged in, you can do this by clicking the register button and filling in the form that follows.
Please give us honest information, we may need this in the future to help keep you safe.
We want you to feel at home here, we want to try and help you build a safe online community that helps you begin to share how you are feeling about your self-harm and meet other people who can help you in this journey. Sometimes we will comment on your posts, but overall, we want you to have the space to help and support each other where you can.
The site is broken down into different places for you to get the help and support you need we have our main chat space where you can upload appropriate pictures, questions and tell us your story. When you post on that page you get to choose your colour background, your font and picture so it feels more personal to you.
We want you to feel supported in your times of crisis and have somewhere to take your concerns and fears when you feel lost and alone. This main chat forum and space is for you to help and support one another. This will be monitored, please remember we are all about pro-recovery here so be sensitive and supportive to everyone needs.
We will also be hosting live chat sessions where we will look at a whole series of topics from anxiety to LGBTQ+ to depression and many more. These sessions will start on the 1st November 2017 at 7pm. They will run for approximately 30-40 minutes and will be held once a week on a Wednesday evening. These are completely informal and will be hosted in a chat room format. We would love you to come along when you can. You can find the links to these chat rooms and a little bit about what we will be discussing that week under the help button on the main page of our website.
Finally, when you are ready we have our weekly support group called Alumina, you can find information about this and sign up under the Alumina tab in the main menu. This is a more intentional form of support and we would love to welcome you when you feel ready.
If you have any questions, concerns or suggestions please contact us at email@example.com and we will try and see if we can help. We really want you to feel supported in this journey and have the space to share your experience. Be sure to follow us on Instagram and like us on Facebook.
The SelfharmUK Team x
Jo Introduces us to the programme and what to expect over the summer.
Some people love school – they love seeing their mates every day, they enjoy learning and enjoy the structure of the school day;
Some people really dread school – getting up early, having to wear a uniform, having to sit in lessons that feel irrelevant, being surrounded by people all day and then having homework to do.
For some people the only thing worse than school are the endless summer holidays.
The idea of the summer break is good – waking up late, no plans, chilling out……
But….the reality can be so different after the first 48 hours: seeing everyone’s holiday photos of hot sunny places may make you feel sad or jealous; feeling like everyone else is out having fun and you are on your own, not wanting to join in but at the same time wanting to be invited to join anyway; hoping it might rain so you don’t have to make up a excuse for wearing long sleeves; feeling isolated without the structure of the school day which makes each day feel long; getting fed up playing online games with your sibling….
There used to be a TV programme called ‘why don’t you?’ and it gave you ideas of things to make, do, places to visit with your mates. It wasn’t too bad for the 90’s!
There was a line on the opening song which said ‘why don’t you switch off your TV and do something less boring instead?’ which used to annoy me because if I turned off the TV then, I wouldn’t be able to know what do to!
We want to give you some ideas to get you to turn off your TV (or wifi!) and make the summer feel more positive:
At SelfharmUK we recognize that summer can be hard with lots of additional stresses due to the changes in routine and weather – we will be running our online Alumina self-harm support group each Monday and will be adding new videos and support material weekly.
We hope it helps your summer!
The piece below was written by Jo Fitzsimmons, a member of the SelfharmUK Team. The urge to self-harm is often all consuming and when it comes, it's hard to think of anything else! Next time you feel the urge to self-harm, try slowly reading this outloud, whilst breathing deeply.
I am twitchy, full of nervous energy
I can’t sit still, I can’t focus,
I am breathing quickly,
I am wringing my hands.
I try to calm myself
I try to take control
The thoughts are coming quickly
Spiralling into my head
My breathing gets faster
I must take control
Slow slow slow slow
I tell myself
The battle is done – I make the choice
Run on the spot
Clench my fists
Breathe Breathe Breathe
Run on the spot
Clench my fists
Breathe Breathe Breathe
I feel the urge
Slow Slow Slow
I match my breathing to the dogs
I bite my hands and wait
The tears begin to flow
The urge has passed
I made the choice