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Emergency Help

We can’t be there in person to help and support you in a moment of crisis, but there are other options available to you if you can’t turn to someone you trust. By giving us your postcode (or one nearby to where you are right now) we can let you know about services in your area. Remember: this moment will pass; you won’t always feel the way you do right now. 

If in doubt always call 999.

You can also sign up to Alumina, our online support for mental health and wellbeing here: 

https://www.selfharm.co.uk/alu...

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Dedicated to self-harm recovery, insight and support.

The Sunshine Vitamin

The blog post below was written by Sophie, a Graduate Volunteer at Youthscape working alongside the SelfharmUK team. 

Have you ever noticed that you’re a little happier on sunny days? When you get enough sunshine, your body produces vitamin D3, which has been linked to emotional well-being. Did you know that it’s actually called the “sunshine” vitamin? It does loads for you – keeps your bones strong, helps cells grow, and helps your immune system.

Research into the effects of vitamin D has suggested that people who lack vitamin D are 11 times more prone to depression than the average person.

Because Vitamin D is important for brain functions, and we all have Vitamin D receptors in the same areas of the brain associated with the development of depression, a lack of it has been linked to mental health issues, such as depression, seasonal affective disorder and schizophrenia. The science behind this is conflicting – one theory suggests that vitamin D affects how monoamines, such as serotonin, work in our brains. Anti-depression medication works by increasing the number of monoamines in the brain.

There are even government guidelines on how much vitamin D you should be getting every day. Adults and children (a year old and above) should have an intake of 10 micrograms of vitamin D every day, and babies under a year old should have 8.5-10 micrograms every day, especially during the winter months, when the weather’s not as sunny. To achieve the daily recommended amount of vitamin D, you might have to take a supplement. Anyone at higher risk of vitamin D deficiency is encouraged to take a supplement all year round.

There are a lot of factors which go into how much vitamin D your body can produce, such as lifestyle, weather, and access to sunlight. According to Holland and Barrett, 90% of our vitamin D levels are made when our bodies get enough sunlight. You don’t even need to spend hours in the sun – just 10 minutes in bright sunshine should be enough to boost your vitamin D levels! And sitting inside by a window, or in a car, even in sunshine, doesn’t count because the glass blocks the UV rays.

So, the next time it’s a lovely day outside, why not go out and spend some time in the sun? It’s better for your body than you think!

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Let's talk about loneliness

More young people than ever feel lonely. A recent survey by the BBC suggests that 40% of 16-24 year olds would say they feel lonely. 

Most of us check our social media pretty often, and it looks like everyone else is having an amazing time doesn’t it? Pictures of them with friends at a party, on holiday with their family, chilling with friends that we don’t know, checking into the cinema with their partner…it looks like they aren’t lonely at all doesn’t it?

The reality is far from it – some people have many acquaintances to make it look like they aren’t lonely. They fill their lives with people who aren’t really friends and people they possibly don’t even trust much because they want to block out that feeling of loneliness.

Some people struggle to make friends and their online friends are the ones they talk to most because they can ‘pretend’ to be something they aren’t… but then end up feeling lonelier.

The common factor in the increase of loneliness in young people, is the rise in social media use because it doesn’t often create deep, meaningful friendships that are based on trust and shared lives. Ironically social media makes us feel lonelier, not less lonely.

So, let's look at some of the ways you could combat feeling lonely: 

1️⃣ Seriously reduce your social media time.

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2️⃣ Do something that creates connections with people face to face.

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3️⃣ Find a hobby group – fitness, craft, music?

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4️⃣ Eat with your family at mealtimes.

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5️⃣ Say ‘yes’ to trying something new.

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6️⃣ Connect with cousins, siblings, grandparents and wider family more.

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There are lots of Organisations out there that offer opportunities to join groups or clubs in order to connect with other young people your own age. Do some research in your local area to find out what's going on and what you might like to get involved with.

If cooking's your bag - here at Youthscape, we offer something called Open House, which is a cookery project run by Gemma, our Drop-in Manager, and a professional chef! Over the eight weeks of the course you will learn to cook different dishes, improve your kitchen skills, and host a dinner for a disadvantaged group from the local community...

The aim of the project is to develop confidence in abilities, build relationships, integrate into our daily after-school Drop-in project, engage with a different group in the community, and through this become more connected, improve self-esteem, and begin to gain the skills that will enable young people to recognise and manage their feelings of loneliness and social isolation now and in the future. 

If you are a young person aged 11-15 and living in Luton, why not get in touch with Gemma to find out more about our Open House project? 

No one is to blame for feeling lonely: it’s not your fault, nor is it anyone else’s; so – this week; begin the journey to feeling less lonely

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A Meditation for World Sleep Day Zz Zz

😴 If World Sleep Day isn't the BEST day of the year (apart from your Birthday or Christmas) then we don't know what is!?

😴 Did you know that as a teenager, you ideally need between 9 and 10 hours of undisturbed sleep a night (you’re not always going to get this, but the more often you do, the better).

😴 In honour of World Sleep Day, we’ve got a short mediation you can do to calm your mind before you go to bed. You might feel a bit silly doing this at first, but trust us, it really can help!

Get comfy, lay down, sit in a squishy chair, wherever you want, just make sure you’re comfy and not going to be distracted. 

Close your eyes.

Now breathe, big deep breaths, try breathing in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 8. Do this a few times. 

Once your breathing is steady, start being aware of your senses. What can you feel, smell, hear? 

Can you feel your heart in your chest? Take a moment to be thankful for your body, how it all works and what it is capable of. 

Now think about the last 24 hours. What has been difficult? What has made you feel drained or sad? 

As you breathe out, try and let go of these things, it might take a while but give it a go.

Once you have done that, think about the good things in your day, what has brought you joy, what has made you feel alive? 

Take a moment to be thankful for them.

Think of the next 24 hours. How can you bring more joy into your day? What can you do to notice the moments that make you feel alive?

Breathe.

When you're finished, open your eyes. 

How was it? 

If you want to know more about World Sleep Day - you can check out their website here.

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The Voice in My Head

The blog below was written by Gill Peck. Gill works as a Service Manager for Community Partnerships. She is passionate about emotional wellbeing; enjoys meeting people from all walks of life and journeying with them to reach their full potential.

That voice.

That voice.

That voice that creeps in, it lingers, hanging around when it knows it isn't welcome. That voice which can be self critiquing about my appearance. That tells me nothing looks good on me as I get ready to go to work in the morning; which makes me think for a while I am all that I can see in the mirror. That voice. That voice that makes me doubt the size I actually am. Knowing I'm a healthy size 10 yet the mirror making me feel dissatisfied at times with the reflection looking back at me. That voice that then makes me annoyed, knowing it isn't welcome and I shouldn't listen to it. Knowing I've developed a healthy relationship with food, no longer comfort eating my emotions away.

But If I could change one thing it would be that voice. That voice that pops up once in a while and then stays a little longer than welcome.

Over the years I've learnt to become more and more satisfied with life, with what I have and enjoying life in the present, not wishing for the future or longing for the past.

Yet that voice still pops up every now and then... And when it does, it makes me doubt myself.

When I was given the theme for this blog post, I decided I would be vulnerable.  Decided I'd let some of my guard down and share that battle I still face at times.

So often, people can be quick to look at pictures of my slimmer figure and assume everything must be perfect.  Yes, I do feel better, so much better in myself since losing some weight to benefit my health and yes, I am in a good and happy place with life overall. However, that doesn't mean I don't still struggle at times with that voice.

I had been in a great place with loving myself and all that I am.  But the other night saw me burst into tears when someone asked me an innocent question and that voice told me they must have thought I had put on weight. Yet as I processed how I was feeling, I was  reminded that anxiety can have a way of lying to you, of making you believe things which aren't true and can leave you feeling exposed, vulnerable and raw.

Thankfully time and time again, I am reminded that vulnerability is strength.

Choosing to tell someone when you're struggling brings a sense of freedom. Knowing you're not on your own. Knowing someone cares and not only listens but hears what you're saying.

I've found speaking out and saying how I feel when that voice visits, lets me fight it quicker and stops it getting louder and bigger. I continue to enjoy my food, good meals out and love cooking, that voice isn't related to that, it's related to appearance.

It can be a scary concept telling someone how you're really feeling, but by doing so, it can also be the very thing to help you work through situations you face, knowing you're not alone.

Despite me telling my boyfriend how stupid I was for crying and feeling rubbish and horrid, and a load of other things; he comforted me and told me I wasn't any of those things but he heard me. He didn't try to dismiss how I felt but he reassured me and worked through with me how I felt and helped me corme out the other side. Sometimes we need to find another voice, outside of our own to help guide us through.

I wonder if you have a voice, whatever that voice may be that you could sit with and share with others? Choosing to be vulnerable can be the steps to rising above it and moving forwards.  After all, as Brene Brown says 'vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change."

What is out there that could be new for you?

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My Mind is My Canvas

The blog post below was written by Ellen.

When I was 11, I began to suffer from intense panic attacks and I turned to self harm to alleviate some of that pain. Seven years later, I’ve got a long list of diagnosis, including anorexia nervosa, depression and anxiety.

Throughout my GCSEs I barely went to school. I taught myself the courses at home and pushed through my exams. I managed to get A*s, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t really living. 

The school I was in at the time was very focused on getting the top grades and getting girls into the ‘best' universities. But even at 11 I knew I didn’t want to be a lawyer or a doctor or an accountant or an engineer… but I couldn’t work out what I did want. And I’ve realised that that’s okay. 

One of the biggest steps I’ve taken was starting therapy again. I stopped going for a long time because my body and mind were too weak to benefit from it because of my anorexia, but once I was at a stable weight I went back. My therapist has allowed me to open my eyes to the beauty in the world and always encourages me to chase my dreams, even if I’m not sure exactly what I want. She’s helped me to look for coincidences in life; the world starts to connect up and forms a safety net around you. 

She was crucial in helping me transfer to an art college for sixth form, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Things are still really hard sometimes but I am learning to get in touch with myself more and I feel like the universe is there to support me. 

I have found myself in art; I joined weekend classes in a London photography studio when I was 15 and I realised I could explore a format people want to see and that makes sense to me. I love to create narratives through both words and images; I am interested in psychology and colour theory and I use art to try and understand myself and others.

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I created a scanography series in which I expressed my mental health journey through distorted self-portraits and eerie colour palettes. I was inspired by Amy Hughes, a painter I found reading Aesthetica magazine. Encased (2017) is psychologically and physically charged; I was struck by the strong highlights arching over a figure's back with an agonised, scrunched up face, distorted by the reflected light and texture of a plastic prison. I reached out to Amy and interviewed her for my project - she even invited me to the opening of her show! She encouraged me to express my true-self, which helped me develop my interest in the nature of mankind. 

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According to a survey carried out by the Mental Health Foundation 2018, 74% of adults in the UK alone report feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope. 51% of these adults felt depressed, and 61% felt anxious. 16% had self harmed and 32% said they had experienced suicidal thoughts. It is hard to tell whether we are just noticing and appreciating the effects of mental health more nowadays, or if there is a crisis as dramatic as reported. Either way, to experience mental health issues or to support someone with them is incredibly, painstakingly hard. I know from my own experience how isolated, hopeless and empty these problems can make you feel. Some of my images are my attempt at describing how you can feel like you're living multiple lives; we lie to people and tell them we're okay, we are misunderstood by others, and we don't know how we even really feel. 

As the scanner moved, I lifted my head and lowered it at regular intervals to create the more frozen style of image. I’ve also tried to depict the feelings of isolation, disorientation and sadness. I pressed my face against the scanner to create visible pressure on my nose and forehead; the world is so vast and scary, yet we can feel caught-up and claustrophobic living in it. The qualities of the images create a kind of wavering mood-line - a bit like a line graph - as well as confusion and feeling out of control. I moved my face along with the scanner, not worrying about the slight shake of my body as I did so as this is what created the wavering effect. 

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I didn't want to make them specific to any one mental health issue; they are universal and can be understood by many. For instance, some images may as a representation of schizophrenia. I wanted to create a sense of understanding for those suffering due to mental health issues, be it the one  who is ill or the one caring for them, and also to educate those who think the mentally ill are simply 'over dramatic' or 'not worth helping'. 

Reasons to try being creative 🎨...

1️⃣ Creatives activities can help to reduce stress levels, aid mental calmness and serve as a relaxing distraction. You can get absorbed in your mental flow when creating.

2️⃣ Art also helps creative thinking; it can better your problem-solving skills. There are no wrong answers in art and we are allowed to imagine our own solutions. Flexible thought can stimulate in the way that learning a new language can.  

3️⃣ Art can improve cognitive abilities and memory for people with serious brain disorders, such as dementia, by stimulating cell growth in the brain. 

4️⃣ Chronic health conditions can be left behind while you create; a positive experience,  and a chance to achieve allows you to express your feelings and help you find your identity.

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Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day Pop tart pies recipe

Feel like you're having a bad day? Why not give the below homemade Pop tart pies recipe a go to help you feel a little better? 🙃

EVERY DAY MAY NOT BE GOOD, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING GOOD IN EVERY DAY HOMEMADE POP TART PIES RECIPE

Ingredients:

  • 1 (15 ounce) package refrigerated pie crusts
  • 1/4 cup strawberry jam, divided
  • 2 cups confectioners' sugar
  • 2 tablespoons milk
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 tablespoon coloured decorating sugar, or as needed

Method:

  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C). Line baking sheets with parchment paper.
  2. Unroll the pie crusts, place on a lightly floured work surface, and roll the crusts slightly with a rolling pin to square the edges. Cut each crust into 8 equal-sized rectangles. Place about 2 teaspoons of strawberry jam in the center of 8 squares, and spread the jam out to within 1/4 inch of the edge of the pastry square. Top each with another pastry square, and use a fork to crimp the squares together, sealing in the jam. Use a knife to trim the pastries, if desired. Move the filled pastries to the prepared baking sheets.
  3. Bake in the preheated oven until the edges are lightly golden brown, about 7 minutes. Allow to cool on the baking sheets. Meanwhile, stir together the confectioners' sugar, milk, and vanilla extract in a bowl to make a spreadable frosting. Spread the cooled tarts with frosting and sprinkle with colored sugar.

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Hikikomori

Some young Japanese men are refusing to leave their bedrooms and are choosing to withdraw themselves from society. The reasons aren't always very clear, but in Japan, it's known as hikikomori.

Hikikomori refers to the act of isolation, and to the young men themselves. The word translates as 'pulling inward' or 'being confined'. Often, a hikikomori's family are both ashamed and at a loss as to how to help their child. Some men have not left their own houses in over a decade! 

Isolation and loneliness can have a major impact on our mental health. A scheme called 'Rent-a-sister' in Japan is being used to help these hikkomori men to begin to recovery from their reclusiveness. You can watch more about this here.

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Helping your friend to ‘train their mind'

So, this isn’t Derren Brown stuff...

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Honest!

Mind training is gently and kindly challenging your friend when they say negative things about themselves (that sounds way easier, eh!?). 

Negative thoughts are part of our human mind set. Most of us have to fight the inner voice which tells us we are rubbish, ugly, fat, stupid or unkind at some points in our lives… The key to managing this negative inner voice is to train your brain to tell it to ‘get stuffed’!

If your friend says negative things about themselves often, here are some tips to help them ‘train their brain’:

  • Listen to them – don’t say ‘that’s rubbish’
  • Don’t get angry when they say negative things about themselves
  • Do – ask them to say what the opposite is of the negative thought
  • Do – ask them write the positive side of each negative thought they have
  • Do – ask them to put the negative thoughts they have written in the bin
  • Do – ask them to put the positive thoughts up in their room, or list them on their phone so they can see them and read them when they are saying negative things
  • Do – do things together than are achievable and fun. If they hate ice – skating and fall over all the time, don’t go ice skating!
  • Do – be positive in the words you use with your friend, even with ‘banter’! It has a huge effect. 

Now, try it on yourself too – positive people have a better outlook on life! 

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How I Look After Myself

We asked some people we work with the top things they like to do to look after themselves. They didn't have to be clever or super creative suggestions, all they had to be were real. 😉

💭"I recognise that sometimes I need time away from people and that’s OK. Yesterday I was feeling angry and stressed so I took an hour out in the middle of the day to just sit and read something that was nothing to do with work. I felt much better afterwards and was probably a much nicer person to be around too!" 

- EMMA

💭"I’m hopeless at it but I know my mental health is better when I’m running regularly. It’s good for my physical health but I also appreciate the break from screens and conversation and a chance to sort out my thoughts while I run. The sense of achievement afterwards is a great encouragement too."

- JACK

💭"I like to get up early in the mornings and walk to a park near my house. There’s a bench at the top of the hill where you can see the whole town. It’s usually really quiet - just the birds singing and a handful of dog walkers. It’s a great place to pray and reflect on the day ahead."

- ABDUL

💭"Shower, tidy my room, and make myself a good dinner."

- FIONA

💭"I stretch! I like to do a few minutes of simple yoga stretching which makes me feel much better physically."

- TESSA

💭"I love taking time out for myself, and reading, with a cup of tea. I know it sounds boring, but taking some time for yourself is so important, and often overlooked as a form of simple self-care!"

- MEL

💭"I walk my dog. I have made friends." 🐶

- ROBBIE

💭"I have a bath. Or a snack. If at all possible I take myself out for coffee. I also like to re-read my favourite books sometimes."

- KATHERINE

💭"I try to do one good deed every day in order to always take something positive out of the previous 24 hours. I also like to appreciate what God has provided (one way I do it by seeing the beauty, diversity and produce in my garden). Another thing I sometimes like to do is to look up “worse day than you” on YouTube!"

- NEIL

~~~~ 🎊 How do you like to look after yourself? 🎊~~~~

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Recovery - The Long Road and What I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me.

The blog post below was written by Deanne.

I’ve never been good at introductions so here we are. My name’s Deanne, Im 16 and like many other teenagers struggle with my mental health. I’ve chosen to write for Selfharm UK because I want to share my story, advice and for you to all know that you’re not alone. 

Anxious, paranoid, scared, lonely and isolated. Those five words describe who I was for a long period of time. For someone at the age of 16 this can be an overwhelming experience. 

On the day that I found myself in the A&E department with two police officers I couldn’t feel anything but pure fear. Afraid of the two ladies sat with me, afraid of the outcome of this assessment. I had no clue what my future would hold for me and I didn’t care. This lead to the destruction of my life, not being able to remain in school, and ruining relationships with those who cared for me the most. As I sat in that chair, I was in denial. I was blaming everyone else for what had happened rather than accepting that I had responsibility. 

It wasn't until they reached out to me (I had spent hours crying, unable to move, paralysed and stuck to that spot) that I was able to receive help. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and I went on to receive CBT under the NHS. This helped me to take my first step on the journey of recovery which I am still invested in and still on now. 

1 in 5 children suffer from a mental health illness. Knowing this, I urge anyone suffering to speak out. Whether it’s to a trusted adult, your GP or a family member - please speak out. Struggling with your mental health isn’t a sign of weakness and is much more complex than fixing a broken arm or a broken leg. Offering support, a shoulder to cry on or just being there could mean the world to someone who is struggling. 

After years of self-hate I now realised the mistakes I made. I needed help, and thanks to the fantastic support from the NHS, I am back on track. Next year I will be 17 and I plan to start working towards having a career. All it took was for me to be gentler, kinder and fairer to myself. In the hardest of times, please remember to stay true to yourself and not lose sight of who you really are. 

Please don't be too hard on yourself, lose sight of yourself, or feel ashamed if you have or haven’t asked for help. Together we will grow, together we will rise and we will thank our lucky stars that we are all alive. 

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Starting fresh

The blog post below was written by Ellen.

The arrival of the New Year can make us feel like we should be transforming into brand new people, and while having New Years Resolutions is a great idea, sometimes the pressure can feel overwhelming.

If you’re reading this then you probably know that self-harm isn’t an easy thing to quit. Like with any addiction, it takes time to get to a place where you’re ready to stop. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to slip up; just because you take a few steps backwards doesn’t mean you can’t then take some strides forward.Megan McArdle, author of ‘The Up Side of Down’ writes that, “failure is a roadmap for what not to do next time.” 

Sometimes setting ourselves concrete New Years Resolutions can be incredibly daunting; in fact, it seems more of us give up on them when we’re overly strict with ourselves. It might be an idea to think of more flexible goals: e.g. you could aim to ‘self harm less’ rather than saying you’re going to ‘stop self harming completely’. You could also approach it from a slightly different viewpoint: ‘This year I’m going to find another way to cope with my feelings.’ Maybe you could aim to understand what triggers your urge to self harm and develop ideas of how to beat the urge before it gets too much. 

One good thing about New Years is it provides a neat opportunity to wipe the slate clean; stop holding onto all those times you felt bad, or felt like you’d let yourself down, and draw a line under the past year. 

While there is an emphasis on parties and extravagance at this time of year, try to remember that what really matters is your own health and happiness. Take things at your own pace; set yourself goals that are realistic; be proud of yourself for all the good things you did in the year gone by. It’s easy to focus on what we’ve done wrong, or the disheartening stories we see in the news, but it’s important to remind yourself of what you’re grateful for and what you’ve achieved.

Jeremy Eden, author of ‘Low Hanging Fruit’, advises that we recognise the things in our lives that deserve “gold plating”, and realise that good is good enough for other things. And Bob Rosen, author of ‘Grounded’, reminds us that it’s perfectly okay to be selfish and take care of our own needs; “Our theory of human development is based on a model that you’re either selfish or you’re community orientated... The truth is that you need to be both. It’s not either-or.”

If you or someone you know self-harms it can be difficult to keep incidents in perspective. Yes, you should aim to (eventually) stop, but allow yourself enough time and expect a few bumps in the road. So maybe you have physical or metaphorical scars, but scars fade, and pain doesn’t last forever; start afresh and move on from what’s behind you. 

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Expectations and dread...

Some people like this lead up to Christmas, some (like me and my family!), really don’t!

The Christmas decorations look pretty and the shops get busier and the Christmas feeling is in the air – but it doesn’t make me get the warm Christmas glow; in fact it begins to make me stressed right from the moment it starts…

The pressure for the perfect film like Christmas family gathering is unachievable – the perfect family game time; the perfect present wrapping, the perfect friends to go out with, the perfect family to share it will – perfection doesn’t exist, in any place at any time.

The media Christmas portrayal adds to our sense of dread – the pressure to smile, laugh, not row, not feel sad – can make us feel very detached from Christmas: so this year, in the lead up here are some tips:

1. Ignore TV films and adverts! We aren’t going to reach a Hollywood Christmas ideal – so let’s not bother. Watch Elf and comedies – they keep a good perspective on it!

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2. Try to imagine Christmas day now – what works for you? Do you need to communicate any of that to your family – who don’t you want to see over Christmas? How long do you have to visit relatives for? Begin to start the conversations now so they don’t come as a shock to your family – take control and be prepared to compromise.

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3. Make stuff – loads and loads of stuff! Don’t buy it, make it. Keep your hands and mind busy, the  personal stuff doesn’t need to cost much nor does it have to be perfect – enjoy the process and the result.

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4. Don’t give yourself sky high expectations of yourself over Christmas. If you need to take regular breaks from family, do it. Look after yourself now so that you have the energy for it as it gets closer; plan out the Christmas holidays so that you get a good balance of rest and play.

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Love,

The SelfharmUK Team

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World Kindness Day

The piece below was written by Jo Fitzsimmons, a member of the SelfharmUK Team.

Try googling ‘the kindest person in the world’…

Weird isn't it?

It wasn’t people I had ever heard of; it was all very random. Some are global business people doing amazing things with their money; others are travellers who give away all they have; others still are people who have passed away and their families recall them as being the kindest person in the world.

Kindness isn’t measurable. There isn’t a kindness scale which we can ‘achieve’ kindness or check on our Social Media profile to see what marks out of 10 we have been given for kindness. Why?

🌎 Because kindness is quiet. 

🌎 Because kindness is done every day a billion times over.

🌎 Because kindness doesn’t need a fanfare.

🌎 Because kindness only needs one person to know about it – the person on the receiving end. 

Today is World Kindness Day.

There are incredible sad and desperate situations happening today all over the world that we are limited in what we can do to help – but, perhaps, we can buy a homeless person a hot drink? Perhaps we can volunteer at an animal shelter? Perhaps we can help tidy the house? Text a person we have been angry with? Say ‘thank you’ to a teacher who has helped us?

Perhaps the hardest and most challenging thing to do on World Kindness Day is be kind to ourself.

The ultimate person to be kind to is us.

What can you do to be kind to you today? Give yourself permission to rest? To laugh without feeling guilty? To tell that small critical voice that it doesn’t speak truth?

What would it look like to you to be kind today? 

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Self Care Week

The blog below was written by Jo Fitzsimmons, a member of the SelfharmUK Team.

Caring for others is often far easier than caring for ourselves, don’t you think?

Listening to others is one of the best gifts we can offer someone – the chance to be heard, to empty their worries and fears with us and for us to offer care, support and hope – is an incredible life giving gift.

Yet; how much do we listen to ourselves? Do we allow our own fears, worries and thoughts to be hard by others?

How do we offer ourself the same care and friendship that we extend to those we love?

I’m getting a bit older now and (I like to think) a little wiser. I now recognise I can’t help everyone or rescue them from their situations, but I can offer a listening ear or kind word... Only if I offer myself the same self compassion and care that I offer them!

To do this, I like to write a list of all the nice, encouraging, kind, thoughtful things I do to help others – and I apply it to me.

I tell myself how strong I am; how brave I am; how proud I am of me; and how thoughtful I am. I encourage myself to speak out my worries to a trusted person so I don’t feel alone with my fears; I allow myself to appreciate the things I am good at - and I outrightly laugh at myself when I make mistakes and look a bit silly!

For every person I help; I aim to help myself – by giving myself a break, by watching my favourite soap (Hollyoaks everytime!), by treating myself to a nice shampoo or baking a cake.

This week, on Self Care week, try one of these actions each day. It’s not selfish; it is life giving and will help you to become a better friend, a better son/daughter or a better sibling...

  • Look in the mirror and say one thing you like about yourself
  • Today, think of one good thing you have done to help someone and think about how it felt
  • Encourage yourself – you are braver and stronger than you will ever realise
  • Name one thing you are proud of in your life
  • Do something thoughtful for yourself in the same way you would for a friend (bake your favourite cake/watch your favourite tv show)
  • Take yourself to a place you enjoy
  • Spend time with people who love you and make you smile

Now here's some GIFs to really get you in the mood 😂

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

Enjoy caring for you this Self Care Week!

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Trick or Treat

What are the things that weigh you down, hold you back and drain you?

We were thinking about this during the Hope Group earlier this week. If you don't know what the Hope Group is, you can read more about it here. What we found was - often the things that weigh us down, hold us back and drain us, are the things that bring us the most joy too.

For example, I really love my family,  but sometimes it feels like they make my life a living hell at times! My mum in particular often weighs me down with lots of nagging and asking questions about what I'm doing at the weekend, and why I can't tidy up after myself. This type of criticism can make me feel increasingly drained, knocking my confidence and holding me back from doing things incase I'm no good at them.

Sometimes, writing down all the things in our head that we know are weighing us down, holding us back and draining us is a good exercise to do. This is because taking thoughts out of our head and onto paper can make them appear a lot less powerful and give us more control over them.

Here's the activity we did during the group...

Bandaged Mummies activity

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To make your own Bandaged Mummy, you will need:

- Scissors
- Glue
- Plain A4 white paper
- A photo of your head
- A piece of A4 black card

1) Use the black card to cut out a body shape 

2) Cut out the photo of your head and stick it onto the body shape

3) Cut up strips of white paper and stick them like bandages on your mummy

4) Think about all the things that weigh you down, hold you back and drain you, and write them on the bandages

5) Keep your mummy as a reminder of all the things that can weigh you down, hold you back and drain you - BUT REMEMBER - you have control over how they make you feel!

Happy Halloween 🎃

via GIPHY

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