Active Listening

As counsellors the most important thing is to be there for the client and listen. You want the client to feel heard by you. A few simple things to remember are:

• Always give eye contact- the client needs to know you are giving them your full attention.
• Don’t talk over them, wait until they have finished then speak.
• Ask the right questions.
• Visualise what is being said to you so that maybe this could give you a better understanding.

Carl Rogers wrote about the core conditions which i think are necessary to really show the client you are listening to them actively.

• Empathy- Put yourself in their shoes and understand their thoughts and feelings from their point of view.
• Unconditional positive regard- this allows the client to open up to the counsellor without a fear of being judged.
• Congruent- This means the counsellor is genuine and real. This condition is important so that the client can built a trusting relationship with the counsellor.

Rogers’s core conditions are an important part of the therapeutic relationship to help built up a trusting relationship which can help the client feel safe with their counsellor. 

Here are a few top tips to help with active listening:

• Ask open questions- You’re trying to look for answers that can be answered with more than yes or no. Instead of saying ‘Have you felt like this for a long time?’ ask ‘How long have you felt like this?’
• Summarising- This shows that you are listening to what has been said. For example ‘so you’re feeling stressed about your job,  but you still enjoy going to work’
• Reflecting- This is where you repeat a word or phrase used by the client back to them. This can allow the client to think about what they’ve just said. For example if the client said ‘i’m finding it really difficult at the moment.’ You could repeat back ‘difficult’
• Clarifying- Sometimes a client can move on from things or gloss over an important point. If you said ‘tell me more about that’ or ‘that sounds difficult for you’ it can help clarify the point for yourself and also the client. Even saying ‘yes’ or ‘I see’ can be encouraging for the client.

This way you are encouraging the client to keep talking.

Doing things to show that you are actively listening to the client will allow them to be more open with you. This will then allow for better therapeutic work between you both. 

Siri is a qualified Counsellor and lives in Shropshire. She currently works as a counsellor in a secondary school and has a keen interest in children’s mental health and supporting them through difficult times in their lives.